I'm back, and I'm here to say something that might shock and appall you. I'm not about to tell you that I murder puppies, though it has been related to that in the past. We don't do Santa.

"Gasp!" "Why would you do that!?" "What is wrong with you!?" These are all very real responses I have received after uttering that simple sentence. This is not a decision that was made lightly. It has been discussed, a lot, on multiple occasions. Most people simply do not understand why we would make this choice, while others proceed to tell me, to my face, why I am a bad parent. I don't expect everyone to agree with me, but I'm here to help people understand.

I liked Christmas as a child, but even as a teenager, I started to hate the commercialism of it all. I often tell people that I don't like Christmas, but that isn't entirely true. I don't like Christmas for what it is. I love Christmas for what it should be. I don't think that many people would disagree with me when I say that children are entitled now a days. I started to think of ways in which I could keep my children grounded, and focused on Christ, family, and the spirit of giving during the Christmas season. There was one thing I could that seemed simple: eliminate Santa Claus. When children know that their parents have to buy their presents, and that they have a budget, I don't think their expectations will be as high. It isn't about denying my children things, but simply teaching them that they will not always get what they want. No Santa seemed like a good way to teach them, but did I really want to eliminate him? I started to really, deeply, think about it.

Santa was never essential to me as a child. It was fun, yes, but Christmas itself is fun. Most of my childhood Christmas memories involve my family, and the things we did together, not Santa. I found out Santa wasn't real when I was seven, and Christmas was just as fun without him in it. My husband likewise found out about at a young age. Christmas was still fun for him as a child too, so I started thinking, hmmm, maybe Santa isn't essential for a good Christmas. I didn't want to berid Santa for those reasons alone, so I kept thinking, pondering, and discussing.

I like that Santa represents giving, but there are some realities about Santa that started to bother me. The myth tells that bad children are punished when it comes to gifts, but in reality, that isn't true. Bad children get presents; poor children do not. When I thought about this, it made me indescribably sad. I wasn't necessarily worried that my children would feel that they were bad and therefore didn't get presents, I was worried about other kids. If my kids saw that the children down the street didn't get presents, would they think they were bad kids?

I realized, that to me, having Santa was lying to my kids. I made the decision a long time ago, that I was going to be totally honest with my children. When they are old enough to understand, they will know about my eating disorder. I will answer honestly about the scars on my arms. This totally honest approach may not be the best approach, but it is the one I have chosen.  I have pretended to be someone I'm not before, and I don't want to do it again. In my mind, pretending to be Santa for my kids, was not being honest.

I realize that Santa is not about me, but it is about my kids, so I started to think how this decision would affect them. I went over all of the usual arguments. "They will have no imagination." You will stifle their creativity." "You will eliminate the magic of Christmas" I do not believe that Santa is necessary for imagination and creativity.  If this were the case, Jewish kids, and other cultures who do not celebrate Christmas, would never be imaginative or creative. My sister has some of the most imaginative and creative children I know, and they have never had Santa. It's fun to pretend and create, but I think it is also okay to know that the things we are pretending aren't real. Elmo, Spiderman, and Daniel Tiger,  are not real, but we have plenty of fun playing games and pretending with them.

I do not think that the magic of Christmas comes from Santa. I believe that the magic of Christmas comes from Christ.  The joy that Jesus was born on earth so that he could sacrafice for our sins,  and allow us to live with God again, is enough joy for me. I think not having Santa allows us to really focus on Christ, family, and the spirit of giving.

Do I think you are a bad parent if you do have Santa? Absolutely Not! It is not at all my intention to make people who do have Santa feel guilty. We discussed it a lot, we almost did Santa, but we decided against it. That doesn't mean that I am right. It doesn't mean that you are right. It just means that we decided to parent differently, and that is okay. I respect your decision.  We will politely discuss with our children to not ruin it for your kids. I'm just a mom, trying to do the the best I can, and ask for your respect. Next time I say "We don't do Santa." I hope you will say something like: "Oh.", "That's different",  "Can you help me understand why you decided that?"